||[Mar. 5th, 2008|12:29 am]
I found myself with some unexpected free time tonight so I thought I'd hit the movies, being cheap Tuesday and all. When I arrived, the next session was for Feast of Love at 7, 40 minuets away. So I went in early and sat in my seat, up the front where no-one sits. Strangely enough another guy came in and didn't seem to notice me at first but apparently the arranged seating gods decided that we should sit together in an empty cinema. He politely left a one seat gap between us though. |
I though he was cute, short black hair, glasses, good skin, a hint of stubble. He had exactly the same cloths as me, plain shorts, a collared shirt and sandals. He pulled out a newspaper from no-where and began flicking through. We were very early after all. I figured some girl was coming to meet him, I mean what kind of guy goes to see Feast of Love by himself? Someone like me?
The movie didn't start on time. It was almost unbearable. Every time he turned the page I thought he might be looking at me, checking me out. When the movie finally started he put the newspaper away. No-one else was coming.
He was one of those viewers that gets caught up in the movie making small gasps at the shockingly mundane revelations of the plot. He seemed to be the only person in the theatre that actually laughed at anything too. Just slightly too loud, enough to make it awkward, like he was trying to over compensate. Or was he trying to draw attention to himself? Was he trying to draw my attention?
This whole movie was about love. About finding someone special. About looking for signs and falling in and out of love. Why was I here watching this movie with him? It was a pretty generic movie, complete with Morgan Freeman narration. Still this seemed to be the kind of movie this stranger liked. He messaged someone half-way through. Was he talking about me to one of his friends?
All I wanted to do was jump him. Pin him down and make out with him in front of the entire audience.
2 minutes before the inevitable conclusion of the film he gets up and leaves. Well, that's that. Must be late for something. Just another love affair in my head. It was a good one too. He even left me a reminder. His newspaper.... and his coffee, and his bag? Morgan Freeman just started narrating again, it's the end of the movie and he's at the toilet?
Lights come up and the credits roll. Everyone leaves. I already got a ticket to We Own the Night at 9:10, I don't wanna miss the start... But I should wait, I wouldn't want anyone to steal his stuff... Maybe I could go through it and find his name, his phone number, his life. I do it in my head. It was exhilarating.
He comes running back in and collects his stuff. I get up an make like I'm about to leave but he sits next to me and exclaims how he can't believe he missed the end! How he was busting to go the whole movie and should have just waited 40 seconds more. How did it all end? He sat me down and looked me directly in the eye, asking me to tell him what he already knew.
I'm a bit nervous, I'm analyzing his words, his voice, the inflections of his speech in my head. What's the sub-text here? Is that what he really wants to know? Does he want something more? Or do I just want him to want something more? This is my chance. I tell him that Morgan Freeman did exactly what he expected and then narrated about it. What did he say? Oh something about Love being unpredictable but great. Then I kiss him. And He kisses me back.
In My Head.
I over-compensate for my anxiety by speaking as plainly and uncaringly as possible. By then I was already getting up. He was busy collecting his things up and blocking the isle so I went around the opposite way, which meant he got to the exit before me. We walked down the long corridor to the foyer together in silence. Should I say goodbye? He started the conversation, maybe I should finish it... This is my last chance to know...
I duck into the toilets and he continues towards the candy bar.
I go into the next movie and wonder if he'll come in and sit next to me again. Maybe that's why he was heading towards the candy-bar again? He doesn't show though. Mark Wahlberg and Joaquin Phoenix and yelling at each other and he's not here to watch it with me, making those little audible gasps he always makes when he gets caught up in the drama.
He probably didn't want to kiss me. He probably wasn't trying to get my attention. He probably wasn't even gay. Right? I guess I'll never know. He made an opening but I was too scared to pursue, even though I wanted nothing more than to do just that. I'm a coward.
It's probably just sexual frustration manifesting itself in strange ways. Still even if it wasn't it probably wouldn't have worked out as great as it did in my head. Nothing ever does.